Words

I have been pregnant for at least One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Days in my lifetime. One Half of these days came ALL at once. Three kids in three years meant that I lived in maternity clothes from the age of 19 until 22. On my 23rd birthday, with a twenty dollar bill in my hand from my mama’s birthday card, I set off with my three babies in tow to the mall. I was going to purchase “normal” jeans. Normal to me meant pants constructed without that stretchy panel in front.
Jennifer who just turned 3, Jason who was 23 months, Sarah at one month and I entered a dressing room in the Northglenn Mall. I sat down the car seat/carrier holding baby Sarah Beth. I placed Jennifer and Jason on their bottoms against the wall, just under the full length mirror and I proceeded to squeeze into, rather I mean to say, try on the “normal” jeans. As I was busy sucking in, buttoning up and all that other business that happens inside a dressing room, I heard a little voice exclaim “Gee Mom, this lady sure is fat!” Looking down, I saw only the cowboy boots of little Jason Paul. THAT IS ALL I COULD SEE OF MY SON! The rest of his body was extended into the dressing room next to me. With one quick, smooth action, I reached down, grabbed those little boots, and drug his small body back in to the dressing room we were occupying. I quickly dressed, gathered the children, and high-tailed it out of there before the “fat” lady and I had a chance to meet face to face.

Kids are innocently and painfully truthful at times. I have had little ones come into my house and say “Gee, your house sure is messy!” Children tell it like it is. As we grow from childhood to adulthood, we learn that words spoken can be painful to others when spoken in haste, or do we?

Are you kind in your words to your family? We’ve all been hurt by words at one time or another. We know the pain a sarcastic comment can cause. We know how much a snide remark can hurt. So why do we allow these hateful, hurtful words to come out of our mouths? And why do we say the most hurtful things to those we love the very most? Why do we ignore how powerful words can be?

Recognize any of these said to you or said by you?           

You always..

You never..

That's so stupid...

What are you thinking?

You are just like your mother...

You are just like your father..

I can't believe you did that...

A man I loved had a way about him of not showing much emotion. I often wondered if he would cry at my funeral should I die before him. When I was angry, I would try to use words to stir up some emotion in him but typically to no avail until one specific instance that broke my heart, because I broke his. I got to him….. This man, who didn’t cry, cried. I surely attained my goal – I hurt him and finally saw emotion at last. My shameful goal by my shameful words achieved-- Why then, thirty years later, do I still remember this vividly. Words can tear down relationships, harm spirits, break hearts – words can be damaging.

Our angry, or reckless, or critical words are bullets - and it's all too easy to pull that trigger. In fact, it takes the help of God and our personal discipline to keep from firing off a round of wounding words. But once you pull that trigger, there's no way to get that round back. Long after you've forgotten what you said, that person is still feeling the hurt of it, still hearing it over and over again in their heart. The words take a moment; the wounds can last for years.

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.

For my spouse, my children, for others … am I using words that encourage and build up or words that damage and tear down?

Dear Lord, cause me to say what will encourage and build up those I love the most!  In your name.....